Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
