Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
