Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The struggles of a small town man whore
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
