David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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