oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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