no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
