Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
where am i from again
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
3 2 1 whiskey
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
