i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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