Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize
