you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Four minutes until I can fart!
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
