I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Sry I called you an 8
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I met the friendliest cop last night
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
