I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
