I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
