oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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