Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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