i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
whose parrot is this?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Why is there bacon in the couch?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
