What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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