I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
