I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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