Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
