wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
