so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
