Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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