4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
