I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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