i think i have two assholes
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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