But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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