Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
