so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
