Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
