I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think people are normalizing furries
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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