Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
