watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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