You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
