You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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