i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
