Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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