If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
