If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
