Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
