Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
