I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
