i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
