he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
whose parrot is this?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
