walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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