Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
