8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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