do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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