If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
