I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
