Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
