I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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