no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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