We named our party play list daddy issues
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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